YOUR MISSSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT, IS TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING WITH NOT ONE, BUT, YES, JUST AS YOU MAY HAVE SUSPECTED AND SIMULTANEOUSLY DREADED, TWO BABIES. DIFFICULT YES. IMPOSSIBLE...MAYBE FOR SOME...
I DECIDED THE TIME HAD COME TO TACKLE THIS MISSION. COULD I DO IT??? I WASN'T SURE..
MONDAY MORNING:
WAKE UP. FEED INFANT BABY. REALIZE A SHOWER MAY BE POSSIBLE SINCE BOTH BABIES ARE ASLEEP. SHOWER IN HASTE. GET DRESSED. EAT FIBER ONE BAR. BRUSH TEETH. PLAY/FEED/ENTERTAIN BABIES FOR A COUPLE HOURS. MAKE UP APPLICATION IN KITCHEN WHILE BABIES SIT IN THEIR RESPECTIVE SEATS. PUT ON COAT AND SHOES WHILE BABIES CRY FOR MOM TO RETURN TO KITCHEN. DON BABIES', SHIRTS, PANTS, SWEATERS, COATS, SOCKS, SHOES, ETC. CARRY INFANT CAR SEAT OUT TO CAR WHILE TODDLER BABY RUNS DOWN STREET. PLACE INFANT BABY IN CAR. RETRIEVE TODDLER BABY. CAR SEATS IN READY POSITION. TAKE BREATHER. DRIVE TO TRADER JOES. PLACE INFANT BABY IN CAR SEAT INSIDE MAIN SHOPPING CART STORAGE AREA. PLACE TODDLER BABY IN SHOPPING CART BUILT-IN SEAT. SOMEHOW MAKE FOOD SELECTIONS WHILE KEEPING AN EYE CONSTANTLY ON TODDLER BABY. CONTINUOUSLY STOP TODDLER BABY FROM STICKING FINGERS IN INFANT BABY'S EYES AND MOUTH. SOMEHOW MANAGE TO SELECT FOOD ITEMS. SQUEEZE GROCERIES IN 6 INCH WIDTH BETWEEN INFANT CAR SEAT AND SHOPPING CART METAL BARS. PAY CASHIER WHILE PREVENTING TODDLER FROM GRABBING ITEMS IN REACHING DISTANCE. NO SPACE TO PUT GROCERY BAGGED ITEMS. TRADER JOE'S EMPLOYEE CARRIES GROCERIES OUT TO CAR. ENTER ALBERTSON'S. REPEAT SAME SEQUENCE OF EVENTS AS DESCRIBED IN TRADER JOE'S. EXIT ALBERTSON'S. LOAD INFANT BABY IN CAR. LOAD TODDLER BABY IN CAR. BREATHE. MAKE SURE TO HAVE PURSE IN HAND AND EVERYTHING LOADED IN CAR. DRIVE HOME. REMOVE GROCERIES FROM CAR AND PLACE ON DOORSTEP. REMOVE BABIES FROM CAR INTO HOUSE. PUT AWAY FROZEN FOODS TO AVOID DE-THAWING. FEED TODDLER BABY BEFORE CRYING/WHINING WAKES INFANT BABY. MAKE PB&J WHILE TODDLER EATS BANANA. RUN TO CRYING INFANT BABY. DISCOVER DIAPER BLOW OUT LEAKAGE ALL OVER INFANT BABY. RUN TO CHANGE AND CLEAN INFANT BABY BEFORE TODDLER BABY STARTS THROWING FOOD ON FLOOR. CLEAN HEAVILY SOILED INFANT BABY. RUN TO TODDLER BABY JUST BEFORE SHE THROWS HER PLATE AND LEFT OVER FOOD ON FLOOR. CLEAN TODDLER BABY'S INCREDIBLY MESSY FACE AND HANDS. RUN TO HOLD CRYING INFANT BABY. USHER BABIES IN A ROOM. CLOSE DOOR. FEED INFANT BABY. DIAPER CHANGES TO BOTH BABIES. REMEMBER TO PUT AWAY REFRIGERATED GROCERIES. PUT BABIES DOWN FOR NAPS. PUT AWAY REST OF GROCERIES. COLLAPSE FROM EXHAUSTION.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! :D
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5 comments:
HaHa. You are so good. Just as you get this mastered another child comes along. My baby is four months and I've only dared to take all three out a handful of times.
yea! So glad you made it through
That was so classic!!! Loved it. I must be getting old because I can say "I remember those days."
True description! I still avoid shopping alone when I can figure something else out. Congrats!
All I can say is it gets easier. I promise. Hang in there!
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